My New Years Prayer

I don't believe in resolutions... well that is something hard to "not" believe in, they exists people have success with them but I just find them pointless. First off, how messed up is it, that our New Year is right after pig out season? I don't find myself making a resolution because it is the new year I find myself making a resolution because the holidays are filled with junk food and it makes you feel all icky- just saying.

I do have hopes for this year though. There is something so encouraging about looking at the next year like it is a blank slate. In all reality though it is the same as a new day or a new month, it's just more symbolic.

2010 was such a GREAT year. My long time dream of staying home came true... Our family grew by one precious little boy and by one neice too (3 weeks older than Nicolas). We've had some challenges, had some victories, had some tears and had some great laughs! There aren't too many years I am sad to see go and 2010 was one of them... such a great time! I've probably learned the most about myself in 2010 than any other year too. I have issues and those were discovered in the last few months... no all seriousness I have issues :). Being creative and free spirited has some down sides too... I either need to come to terms with it or work on disciplining myself more.

This next year is going to be exciting too... Cole will start crawling and walking with in this next year. Wesley will be even bigger, more independent and will be getting ready for school!!! I will grow as an artist and refine my skills more and more. Levi will be closer to having his maters in Mechanical engineering- a dream he has. We will celebrate 10 years of marriage (I'm not old enough to be married 10 years!) Levi will join me in the 30 club. Though we rang in the new year beard free (levi of course not myself)... I am sure we will see a beard agian in 2011. Yep it will be eventful... but am I up for it? Sure why not, bring it on.

2010 brought some uncertainty into our life (well nothing is even certain it just appears that way sometimes). I NEVER would have dreamed that Cole would have been born with a birth defect. I was more worried about making it thru the pregnancy healthy (me and baby since Wesley's pregnancy was so scary) to even wonder or stress about something like that. I guess that worry is always in the back of your mind but the type of worry that you convince yourself will never become reality- not to you at least. I also would not have expected to handle it with such peace and patience as we have. I don't feel the need to stress or overly worry about anything, it may look like denial but it isn't. Everyday I am reminded that our journey with him is not the normal journey people get to take. Though there is nothing to "fix" in my mind either... just things to work around- a different way of doing things than I had planned.

It was kind of scary to quite work. It had become VERY clear that is what I was suppose to do. God had always provided great homes and friends to care for Wesley. We were so blessed with babysitters and help! Well all of that went away. Our friends and sitters all moved, first college, then the other across town... just became clear that we were going to have to compromise a lot if I wanted to keep working. A compromise we were not willing to take. A boss that I dearly loved working for moved to a different restaurant which made the appeal of going back to work not as appealing. Work would have still been fun don't get be wrong but it would not have been the same. It was going to be a greater hardship to work than to not, so we took that step of faith and I made that hard phone call and stepped down for a job I loved and was good at. I can't say everyday since has been a picnic, I've seen some of my hardest mom days since then but I know I am right were I am suppose to be so I fight the urge to run out of the house screaming :).

I pray this year that maybe more good days come around than bad, that Levi's school isn't as hard as it was last year. I also pray that Cole continues to develop without interruption! Wesley continues to be the awesome brother and son he has always been. Both the boys to grow up with a fear and hunger for the Lord. Me: to get myself focused and motivated to make changes. The list goes on and on, so like I said this year no resolutions just prayer- it's the only thing that works anyways right?

Happy New Year!