Our PERFECT little Nicolas

What a journey to bring another little person into the world. After it is all said and done, I like the story that comes from the pregnancy and birth. In the middle of it all though you feel ready to be done and back to normal. This pregnancy was different and harder in many ways. I stayed positive and hopeful that I'd get to deliver this baby the way I had planned. Last delivery was not the way I had wanted so this one was going to be different... so I thought. I planned on delivering the baby by VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). The last few weeks leading up to my due date the doctors didn't give me much hope that was going to happen. I tried to keep them out of my head though and stay positive. My body didn't appear to be doing anything to prepare for labor. The baby was growing, growing, growing and he was happy staying where he was at. Apparently he liked it there since he was a week overdue. Overdue that is another thing... are babies really every OVERDUE? God has it all timed perfectly. Anyway those last few weeks were miserable. At 40 weeks pregnant I measured 43 weeks pregnant. The doctor thought this baby was going to be huge and not fit in newborn clothes at all... the hospital nurse thought that I just had a lot of fluid and the baby was normal size. Either way my belly was larger than normal. Well with all the prayers my due date, came and went. We were quickly approaching my c-section date. I came to a peace about the whole thing. I gave it a shot and came to the realize I may never know why this baby didn't come naturally and I didn't deliver naturally but I didn't and I need to trust it was better this way. So came June 28th.

We got to the hospital early that morning. So weird to know in a few hours we'd have a baby and in a few days we'd be home with the family to stay. Much different experience this time not having an emergency c-section. Some ways better, some ways worse. I was getting super nervous in the operating room. I was more aware of what was going on than last time. Just a few minutes into surgery our baby boy appeared. All 9lbs of him! The doctor was right. I even told her during surgery that I felt better, she said "Well your baby was huge". I seriously felt more comfortable already before I could even feel my body. It was awesome to see him for the first time. He had chunky legs and arms. His cry was his own, he didn't sound like Wesley. His hair was kind of reddish color all over his head. His face was chubby and big. So different that the scrawny Wesley we had 3 years earlier. I just kept saying "He is huge!!" and I'd giggle. The doctor and the nurse both ended up right. Nicolas was 9lbs, 11.2oz, not your average "newborn" and I had double the ambionic fluid of a normal pregnant person. I wasn't crazy I was carrying around a lot baby!! I got to hold him from the operating room to the recovery room. I've never held such a new baby before. Wesley was taken away before my surgery was finished last time. As I recovered the family came to visit and I just held onto our little guy (still not named at this point).

I have never seen Wesley so happy as he was to enter the recovery room to see his brother. He was so proud and excited. It is a face I will never forget. He asked if he could touch the baby and kiss the baby. He was great with him. My parents came and saw him. My Dad came back in the recovery room with Wesley and Wesley asked if he could sign the baby a song. He began singing the baby "Jesus Loves Me"... it was super sweet of him.

The baby got to stay in my room with me, again much different than last time. I got to spend some wonderful time holding and cuddling my little guy. We went back to our starting place with the name. Originally we wanted our next son to be named Nicolas, then we threw out other names. Nicolas didn't seem to fit at the time but once we met him, it fit, it was his name. I think it was suppose to be his name all a long. During my pregnancy I had a dream about naming this baby. I was debating between Nicolas and Cole and actually in my dream I was praying about it. In my dream I realized the name Cole is in Nicolas! Not your typical nick name but it worked. I liked it! So I call him Cole or Rollie Pollie Colie. Some call him Nicolas, some call him Nick... he will have a lot of names, we might confuse the kid. So Nicolas Fischer Bowers it is!


He is perfect in so many ways. A verse come to mind when I look at him. Ps. 139:13-14 "For you created my inmost being you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I know that full well. " See Nicolas was born with an abnormality... well an abnormality by our standards. His left ear was underdeveloped. It looks as if you folded your ear over and it fused that way. It appears complete closed. The right ear looks normal and he responds to sound so we are not afraid he can't hear out of that ear. The left ear though we don't know about. There are a few things. Maybe the whole left ear didn't develop at all, leaving nothing on the inside which means he will never hear out of it. Maybe the whole inner ear is developed and we just have to cosmetically fix the outer ear so he can hear. Maybe he can even hear now... so many questions to answer. Either way it is a long road ahead. We have talked to only a few doctors in the hospital who have helped us set up appointments. As far as we know now this kind of thing happens 3 out of 10,000 births. Abnormalities like this don't run in our family and doesn't seem to be a side effect or result of anything... just unexplained and unexpected. We do not have an answer to any of these questions yet and with him being so new we might not have any answers for months and months... maybe even a year. We might have to meet with a geneticist to see what our risks our for having more kids. At this point they don't find that unnecessary. We have to go to a hearing specialist and a pediatric ears, nose and throat doctor just to name a couple. Most likely an MRI is needed to view his left ear, in a case with a baby they put the baby to sleep for the test, not something you are eager to do to a newborn. So we will wait. Ps. 29:11 "The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace". I have my moments of sadness for him but my sadness and worry do nothing to help this situation. God did not make a mistake in creating him so that gives me peace. So we wait for strength and answers. Right now we just love on our perfect little miracle.

Nicolas means Victorious People. Maybe his name is more fitting than we had thought :)!